D Day – Thinking about my mom

So today is D-day. It sucks. Ass. I am rather stressed and nothing comes out of my hands today – despite the fact I have half a dozen of deadlines to deal with. I have got three multi-page features waiting for me, as well as the last few bits and pieces of a press release campaign dealing with solar energy. I just couldn’t be bothered, and this flipping heat is not working in my advantage. At least I am keeping it together emotionally, without Vic Falls crying sessions of note.

I hope everything will be okay in the end, and that mom can start what ever therapy soon and that she will be cancer free soonish. I have to sometimes remind myself that they caught this shitty illness at an early stage, that the tumor was very small and that she could not have picked it up herself (it is that small).

I have to remember that to make sure the ‘what ifs’ are not taking possession of my entire being.

Hopefully my next blog will be a bit more cheerful.

The waiting starts to take its toll

Just spoke to mom, and she is taking quite a bit of emotional strain.The waiting-waiting-waiting for the lab results is not easy for her, especially now that dad is away for work. She does not blame him and neither do I. Dad has to work, simple as that. It is however rather unfortunate that a trip overseas had to come up. He will be back on saturday, the day I fly back home. So until he is back, I will try to make sure she is okay. This will mean more Skype chats, more emails and more flowers via the mail.

Hopefully she (and we) will soon know more about the type of breast cancer, and what can be expected of the next few weeks treatment-wise. WE should get the results in exactly one week from now (the 17th of Jan).

This situation is quite stressful for me too, being so far away from her and not being able to do anything to make her life a bit easier. This bloody time difference does not help. When I wake up at 7, mom is about to go to sleep and when she wakes up, I am about to have dinner. It sucks ass, to put it that way. Luckily I will be back home in South Africa in a couple of days. By bye time zones.

I sometimes wonder how others in my situation deal with their mom, sisters, wives, girl friends having breast cancer. It would be nice to share experiences, so if you want to talk: Talk!

Mom: “Cancer isn’t contagious. It’s okay to talk about it”

It’s been almost a week since the doctors removed a tumor from my mom’s breast, and all is going well. Well, sort of. Mom has cancer, which is not a good thing. And the waiting is starting to take its toll, and my mom is struggling with the after effects of the operation. To keep infections at bay, she was prescribed a certain tablet, which made her sick as a dog. After consulting her GP, mom has now stopped taking the medication. On top of that, the respiration tube caused a small jab in her mouth when it was removed meaning her mouth was a bit sore for a few days.

Luckily, the wound in her breast is healing well, and she has had her first glass of wine this weekend – which is always good news. I told her that she should eat. Mom is like me: when I am stressed, I can’t eat. She needs to eat to keep her strength and energy levels up.

Unfortunately, mom has to miss dad for a couple of days. He has to go overseas for work, which he can’t cancel. She understands, and my dad understands that he has to go, but I sense that they are not very comfortable with this situation.

I was and am very happy to hear that m parents are getting a lot of support from family and friends, in the form of cards and flowers. However, it seems that some people are afraid to talk to my folks about the cancer. That is why mom this weekend decided to send out a very kind email to all her friends and family explaining that it is okay to talk to her and dad bout the breast cancer, to stop b for a visit and to give her a phone call to chat. “A lot of people are scared to talk about cancer, and therefore unwillingly alienate cancer patients. This makes us – me – insecure and lonely. Cancer is not contagious and while it is scary, it is okay to talk about it,” she wrote.

I think this is quite a brave step to take.

Final Operation Tests and Check-ups

Yesterday, mom and dad were submitted to another trip to hospital, this time for two final rounds tests and check-ups before this morning’s operation. One of the things the doctors have done, it injecting contrast fluids into one of the lymph nodes closest to the tumor, which will make it easier to remove it tomorrow.

Mom sounded rather positive when I spoke to her on the phone, which is comforting. She is not too worried about the operation, and wants whatever has made her boob its home OUT. Dad sounds stressed out of his mind about everything. He is an expert in explaining the procedures, but not when it comes to answering questions like “How do you feel?”. And me? I am not sure how I feel. Worried, of course, but more about my dad. Mom is a tough cookie. I have faith in the doctors who will be operating on my mom, as it seems they have everything under control.

I think the worst part of this journey, apart from hearing the news, will be the 14 days after the operation. It will take about this long for the docs to know whether the tumor is aggressive, whether the lymphe node contains cancerous cells, and if a second operation is needed.